i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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