She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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