I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
