...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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