am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
