3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
