Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize