Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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