the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
