Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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