Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
