the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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