I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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