I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
