he puts the penis in happiness.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize