the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
