Sponge bath it is.
Fuck appropriateness.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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