8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
