Your dad touched me again.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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