ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
