yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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