I'm drive I can fine osifer
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
