Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
