Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize