Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
