i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
