I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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