No subtext here. People are naked.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize