well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
