elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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