Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
