R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
