since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
