Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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