oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
