Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
