Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
