Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Randomize
