Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
