Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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