I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
