You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
