Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
