her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
