I think my fart just growled at me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
