can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
