i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
