i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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