he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize