i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize