We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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