tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
