last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
