On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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