she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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