No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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