I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
