Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
