I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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