my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
time to smoke my breakfast
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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