let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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