Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
