If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
