so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
