when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
