If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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