sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
