Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
