Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
