I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
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