Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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