Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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