So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Just high enough for therapy.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
