and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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