Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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