I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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