I don't usually arrange sex via text message
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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